I’m on The Defensive
“I’m on the defensive.”
I’m on a roller coaster of excitement and stress.
On Sunday, I had a stack of critical things I had planned to work on.
How much of it did I get done? Zero.
I did work. As in, I worked on my computer. For many hours.
But I couldn’t get myself to actually do the important work. I did everything but the important work.
I pride myself on being disciplined.
But on Sunday, my discipline well was dry.
I won’t be that concerned about it, but I do keep thinking about how earlier this month I was so on fire.
I was hitting my daily goals. My productivity was awesome. I had momentum. I was stacking up wins.
But these last couple weeks were different.
My excitement turned into overwhelm, which turned into indecision.
Progress slowed. Productivity suffered.
I have plenty of things I could point to as excuses.
The radio station where I do my weekly interview show was doing their bi-annual fundraiser, we had to secure a new venue for Impact Club, I have a new team member in training at my office, my daughter had basketball games every afternoon, we are remodeling our basement, planning for a big trip in January, and we hosted a party of 25+ people at our home on Saturday. We’ve been busy.
All of these things are important to me, but they forced me outside my usual routine and I felt like I was on the defensive.
When I’m not following my routine/plan, that is when excitement about the future can turn into stress and worry about letting myself and others down, because I’m not on the offensive.
I feel like I’m just surviving.
Sunday was supposed to be my “get back on track day” and it turned out to be the opposite.
As I sit here today, I keep thinking about how I need to get back on the “offensive.” Get back on track.
Just like a football team who breaks out into a big lead before halftime by being aggressive and playing to win… then blows their entire lead or even the game because they went on the defensive.
They start playing to not lose instead of playing to win.They stop doing the things that got them the lead in the first place.
Of course, one can’t be on the offensive ALL the time. Even the best sports teams have to have a good defense.
Sometimes we need a halftime to recharge, regroup, and refocus.
The point is we can get stuck being on the defensive, and when you are only playing defense, you can’t get ahead, or grow.
Earlier this month I was on the offensive.
I felt it. I saw the results.
But last the week or two I was focused on maintaining, rather than fighting for the win.
And I’m kind of pissed at myself and over it.
Life isn’t a football game, but in many ways it is still a game.
And with any game, we can decide how we want to play.
We can play to win, or play not to lose. That is your choice.
It’s new week.
Tomorrow is a new month.
I’m committing here.